Zero's Wall of Ramblings

There's a lot of negativity in this journal. For a while I considered deleting it but there are other things in this journal that are useful to have around. So I guess it stays for now. I swear the smallest of things can set it off. I've been trying to get my CV printed off so I can hand it into the store I want to work at but our printer is broken. So a family friend printed it off for me. I didn't have time yesterday so I decided to hand it in today. Only to find my sister's accidentally scribbled on it, likely thinking it was an old letter or something. It's an easy fix, just need to find someone who can print off another copy but nope, in that moment it was enough to upset me. Feeling better now or I guess it'd be more accurate to say I'm seeing my situation in a more logical light. It's only a small hiccup that can easily be fixed, but I think it was just a build up of frustration in actually finding a job that's caused this. Depression is a funny thing. I do wish I could be more positive but I guess I wouldn't be myself if I was.

The right side of my face hurts, it's been hurting since yesterday night. I know why and so there's not actually much I can do about it, so I just have to put up with it until it stops hurting. It's so uncomfortable. ;-;

I made meatballs from scratch today! I'm rather proud of myself and I can finally prepare my favourite pasta dish the way I want to, which is awesome and much healthier than a microwave meal. Only problem is I'm currently slow cooking the dish because our oven hasn't worked for months. So having prepared the dish late at night, it won't be ready for another 5 or so hours. Which I'd normally leave overnight but the meat needed to be used today, having been defrosted. So I don't even know if it'll be all right to eat once it's done. So I'd like to freeze it asap so it'll last longer if it is safe to eat. But at least I made it, even if I can't eat it. ^-^' Man, a ready meal sounds so much easier right now. XD

Team Water this month, I've started my Lotad hunt early in hopes of getting the shinies I need for my living dex and I've already gotten myself an early Shiny, which is awesome. I still need to finish off my Eevee hunt but taking a break from it is rather nice. As for the banner itself, I think I did the highlight outline too thin compared to my other banners but I've never drawn Gorebyss before, so that was cool. :D Not much else to say at the moment, excited for Ultra Sun but won't be getting it until Christmas, so I'll have to hide from Youtube when the game is released. I also have something big happening in the near future that I'll be sharing in this journal and I can't wait. X3

So tired. ;-; My dog's recently had puppies, eight in total. Three white with brown and black patches, two light brown, two black and one dark brown. Though I've not had a chance to check them all over I think it's a litter of mostly females with two/three boys. We didn't think she was due for at least another two weeks so I was alone in helping her deliver the first pup. My brother soon got the neighbours to come around and help deliver the rest and it all went smoothly. All the pups are happy, healthy and of course freaking adorable. X3 But prior to the night before when she had them, she'd been unable to settle at night meaning someone would have to stay up with her. We've been taking turns but I've done it for three or four nights now so I'm exhausted and my sleep schedule is even more out of wack but things will change once the pups are a bit older. Changing the subject in my exhaustion, Sonic Forces is out and a surprising amount of youtubers I watch (who aren't straight up Sonic focused channels) are actually playing it. And I really want to watch them because no doubt they'll have fun reactions to the story and gameplay but I haven't gotten the game yet. The pre-order didn't go through properly so it'll be a few days before I get it. I'm not super hyped or anything (for many reasons but primarily Sega's poor advertising.) but if I don't fully enjoy the gameplay then what little story there is I want to discover myself so I don't regret buying the game. XD If it plays like Sonic Generations though, then I'll be fine. Lost World was just a mess, in my opinion, though the Zelda dlc was cool.

Just spent two hours trying to fix my tablet. It functions just fine and I can draw as usual, no my problem was the mouse wasn't syncing up with the tablet in Chrome and I couldn't figure out why. Doesn't help that I have a discontinued tablet so finding help in the FAQ is pointless. So I read through new and old manuals for a good half hour whilst fiddling with the settings. In the end I gave up and took to Youtube to see if there was a solution, I had doubts because this was a problem with the browser and was a more recent issue. The first video was useless so I checked the second and it mentioned being able to disable 'Window's Ink' which I already knew about but because I thought it was what allowed me to use my tablet in Word, I never changed it. But I disabled it out of curiosity and surprisingly it seems to have fixed the issue and let the mouse sync up. How it caused an issue to begin with is beyond me considering Chrome was the only application causing an issue but at least it's working again. Now if I could just get it to stop thinking I'm dragging links while interacting, I'd be all set. XD _{All the Poketuber's I'm subscribed too keep posting US/UM videos and I've had to unsubscribe to them all from fear of seeing spoilers. Why do people have to make clickbait titles and not consider those trying to avoid spoilers? ;-;}

Just going through my fields and changing a few things around. I also decided to rename two event Pokemon I'd gotten from PF1, one of which had an interesting description. I do wonder why my mind was when I wrote it, I still kinda like despite it how old it is. It's certainly less cringeworthy than some of my other old spontaneous thoughts.

Bleh. I'm applying for a job that asks those stupid questions like 'Tell us about a challenging situation you have experienced?' and I don't know what to write. I can't answer things like this because I can never recall anything remotely close to what the question is asking. I don't like lying, so I can't exaggerate a simple situation either. It's been three days now and I keep putting it off because of how stressed out I'm getting trying to answer these questions. Then when I finally think I can answer the questions, it's in the early hours in the morning and then I'm worried that if that information is tracked, they'll get the wrong impression and think I stay up until stupid hours of the morning and see it as irresponsible or something. I'll get there eventually and I really need a job with Christmas coming, so I will make sure I send it in plenty of time but I guess I needed to rant and get these thoughts out of my head so I can concentrate. But seriously, how do I answer the question 'Tell us about a challenging situation you have experienced?' when I'm an introvert with ADD, social anxiety and depression? My mental health and learning disability has me deliberately avoiding difficult situations. I can hardly put 'went to the dentist' now can I? XD

Well four days after seeing it, I finally got that job application sent. Shame the deadline is at the end of December, meaning I still need to find a Christmas position to earn some money. Gift giving is one of my favourite things about Christmas, I search for that perfect gift that's both useful but still something they like for every member of my family. This year though, I can't do that and it doesn't feel right. I had a similar issue last year but I was able to make coffee shortbread in gift boxes for everyone but our oven's broken this year, so I can't bake anything. I know my family won't mind, as my mum tends to buy gifts from all of us anyway but on a personal level, I'd just like to be able to give my friends and family a gift to make them happy, you know? In other news, the puppies have all opened their eyes in the past few days and it shouldn't be long before they can hear things too. While they still sleep most of the day, they're practicing moving around on their legs when awake. It's cute watching them stumble about trying to move, only to run into each other, then give up and have a nap. XD It's bittersweet though, we've picked out a pup to keep and my sister's chosen one to raise herself. I'm in love with the first puppy that was born, the one I helped Willow deliver by myself but she's also one we eventually have to give away. I know it cannot be helped but I know I'm going to get attached and miss her when she's gone. But at least I'll have watched her grow up, along with all her brothers and many sisters. I'm so proud of them all. X3

First day of December, time to blast those festive tunes. The classic's obviously, a lot of modern day christmas music is really just rubbish raps and screechy pop covers of classic tracks. There's a few good ones in there but they're always buried by the rubbish ones and over here, the X Factor No.1 from whoever wins the contest and that's rarely ever a christmas themed song because it essentially pays its way into No.1. _{(I'm not kidding. They covered Biffy Clyro's 'Many of Horror' one year and I like the band but... its a depressive 'love song'. They even changed the name of the track because of what it references. Like why bother? Just don't use it.)} Funnily enough, it's during the festive season that my introverted and awkward self loves going outside and enjoying festivities with others more than anything else. I'm already trying to see what events are going on around town this month, I hope there's a few fairs going on as they're always fun. ^-^ But all around, I'm happy. I love winter, it's my favourite season. While I don't like going numb in the cold, there's something refreshing and pleasant about going outside first thing in the morning when it's frosty outside. X3