Single post in Shadvex's Story [PG-13]

“So this is where it is,” I said, staring into what appeared to be a giant abyss on the front side of a relatively small building. “Doesn’t seem like much. But how do I get in? Do I just walk in?” I thought for a moment. “Eh, it’s worth a shot.” It turned out that it was a very bad idea to walk into the Maverick Army Base without a donut or knife or any other weapon to protect you. Because the next thing I knew, I was being dragged down a hallway that slanted downwards by the back of my chest armor by a purple-armored reploid with what appeared to be a cross between a small cannon and a machine gun on his shoulder. I took a few seconds to try and put together what just happened. Me trying to get in must’ve tripped some kind of alarm, alerting whoever this guy was to my presence. Because of this, he more than likely now wanted me dead, and was now dragging me to wherever he was going to murder me at. I considered finding a way to break his grip and getting out of here, but then realized that that would probably only tick him off even more, and doing that would only increase the chances of him wanting to kill me. Basically, do the exact opposite of what I think I should do? You have done well, myself, I thought. I decided on waiting until whoever this guy was finished dragging me to wherever he was going to drag me, seeing as I essentially had no other option. After what seemed like an eternity and a half, but probably only a few minutes, we finally got to wherever it was he wanted us. Once he had released his grip on me, I glanced around. We appeared to be in a dimly lit room with one table and a chair on either side of it in the center of it. The other reploid had taken a seat in one of the chairs. ...I assume I should plunk down in the other one, I thought, getting up and sitting down in it. “Explain how you found this place and what your business here is,” he growled as I sat down. The fact that I couldn’t see his face made it even more unsettling to answer than it already was. I realized that the thing poking into my side was a donut. I took it out of my pocket, and started eating it, just to help calm myself down. “You’re already demanding an answer and you haven’t introduced yourself or asked for my name. Smooth,” I said. “My name is Vile,” the other reploid growled in annoyance. “Fair enough. My name is Shadvex, and I got here because someone left an ad lying around that I happened to come across that just so happened to have walking directions to here. And I come with the full intent of joining you guys.” I explained, trying my hardest to hide how unnerved I was. I paused, and added for extra measures, “Whether you like it or not.” I took the paper ad out of my pocket and slapped it on the table. Vile completely ignored the ad. “A likely story! Someone willingly joining us is something that has a zero percent chance of happening!” “Correction,” I said, “There is a point zero one percent chance that it could happen, because it did happen. Right now.” “If you knew what was good for you, you’d be making a run for it right now. Now get out before I have to call in Sigma,” said Vile. I snickered. “Make me.” “Very well then,” growled Vile. He pulled out a communicator and said “Sigma, I-” “Don’t care,” said whoever was on the other side of the line. “Headed there anyways.” “Very well then,” said Vile, putting the communicator away. Within a few minutes, another reploid entered the room. It took all of my willpower to not start snickering. The first thing I noticed was his lack of a helmet- and hair. For whatever reason, that was almost preventing me from taking this guy seriously. Then I noticed that his small blue eyes lacked pupils. Suddenly, everything tied together in a symphony of terrifyingness. He was practically Fierce Deity Link with blue eyes instead of white eyes. “Commander Sigma,” said Vile, “I need help dealing with this stubborn incompetent fool.” “Hey, it’s not my fault you won’t accept help when it’s presented to you on a silver platter,” I said. “Besides, being a jerk about the whole thing, like this guy, probably isn’t the best tactic to get people to join your group.” “...You know, you really have a good point, there. You’re more intelligent than you look,” said Sigma. I suppressed a snort. “Wow, what a way to convince people to join,” I said sarcastically. “Has it ever occured to you that, I don’t know, maybe this attitude you guys have is the reason you never get anyone that wants to join you?” My comment was followed by an awkward silence. ...Why do I have the feeling that I just guaranteed my death? I thought. Actually, I probably did. I cleared my throat, only slightly weirded out by the fact that reploids can do that. “So,” I asked, “Am I accepted or are you going to kill me now?” “...We’re killing you,” said Vile. “An incompetent fool like you will only slow us down.” “Vile, since when was it your place to decide things like this?” Sigma questioned. “Anyways,” he said, now addressing me, “You’re accepted, as long as you don’t screw up. Consider this training mode.” “Training mode of what game?” I asked. “...Actually, you heard nothing.” “...Right,” muttered Vile. “FLAME HYENARD, GET YOUR REAR OVER HERE, NOW!” he yelled. A few minutes later, a bipedal hyena-like reploid walked in. “What is it?” he asked. “We have a new recruit. Show him around, please,” said Vile. “Yessir,” said Flame Hyenard. He then glanced towards me. “Come- BURN TO THE GROUND!- with me, please,” he said, motioning for me to follow him. I could already tell that this was not going to end well, but reluctantly followed him anyways. “So,” he explained as we walked into an extremely large room, “This is where most of everybody- BURNS TO THE GROUND!- spends their time when not on missions.” Practically everyone in the room turned their head to look at us. I sighed. “I knew this wasn’t going to end well,” I muttered. “Come- BURN TO THE GROUND!- along, I gotta show you the training room,” said Flame Hyenard, walking off in the other direction. I am seriously starting to wish I were murdered instead, this is just humiliating, I thought. “Here we- BURN TO THE GROUND!- are,” said Flame Hyenard, shoving open a door. The room was abandoned, except for a purple armored eagle-like reploid leaning against a wall, staring off into blank space. “Oh, hello- BURN TO THE GROUND!- Storm Eagle,” said Flame Hyenard. “I was just showing the new recruit around.” Storm Eagle glanced at us. “Right,” he said. “you know, I kind of like showing new recruits around, so if I could take over from here, that’d be great.” “Oh, that’s not a- BURN TO THE GROUND!- problem,” said Flame Hyenard. Storm Eagle nodded. “Come along now, you,” he said, motioning for me to follow him. “There’s no doubt a lot of stuff left to cover.” After we were out of earshot, Storm Eagle looked around, then said, “I’d love to murder whoever thought having him as a tour guide was a good idea. He’s the last person who should be a tour guide!” “Go kill the purple guy with the machine gun cannon thingy, then. Why do I think that if you hadn’t rescued me from that crud, I’d be humiliated to the point of everyone staying the crud away from me?” I asked. “That’s what happened to the last recruit we had,” he said. “Oh yeah, there’s this one guy that doesn’t have a roommate, so we’re probably just going to lump you two together.” “...My new roommates’ name is This One Guy? I already feel sorry for him,” I said. He said nothing. “...What?” “You’re completely clueless.” He paused. “Either that, or you just have a really screwed up sense of humor. Anyways, there’s really nothing more to cover that’s important to you now, so feel free to explore or introduce yourself to some of our other members or something.” “....That includes my roommate, right?” I asked. “No, you just barge into his room and say ‘Sup, I’m your new roommate and there’s nothing you can do about it’ and then run.” “...And then watch as my core processor crashes hardcore when he incinerates me?” “Pretty much.” “Yeah... No,” I said. “I’d much rather properly introduce myself and then get out alive.” A/N